Got to love an airport baggage carousel, everyone stands there pretending to be relaxed, while quietly scanning a conveyor belt with the intensity of a police stakeout. I’ve started naming the different groups of people you always seem to find there, mainly for my own entertainment.
The Gatekeepers
They stake out their claim at the start of the conveyor belt like guards. For them, the holiday hasn’t properly started, or ended, until they are the very first person to touch a handle.
The Commando
He turns a routine task into a mission. Sharp elbows, intense eye contact, and absolutely no regard for the social contract of personal space, and definately no manners as he (yeah it's usually a 'he') pushes he way to the front and takes you out as he manhandles his luggae from the belt.
The Over Packers
Sweet, over-packed, and physically outmatched by their own belongings. They are usually a frail older couple who rely entirely on the unspoken airport rule that someone stronger will eventually step in to do the heavy lifting for you.
The Second-Guessers
They suffer from temporary luggage amnesia. Every ruddy suitcase that rolls past sparks a full marital debate about whether they bought a new bag before departure. Come on, you only said goodbye to it in Manchester a couple of hours ago, surely you can remember what it looked like!
The Snipers
They hang back perfectly calm. They don’t move until they spot the target, then they step in, execute a clean retrieval, and vanish towards the exit before anyone else has even noticed them.
I think I’m probably a Sniper. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
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