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The End of the Invisible Audience

For years, almost 35 years, every time I sat down to write, I wasn't alone. The room was crowded with invisible people: the boss who was vertually dictating what I should write, the client who might get offended with the wrong word or phrase, the prospect I didn't want to scare off, and the Google (and all the social platforms) algorithm that demanded its pound of flesh in optimised keywords and the right hashtags.

I spent more time thinking about the consequences of virtually every single word and sentence than the point of writing it sometimes. Everything had to be sanitised, perfectly structured, and professional to a fault. It was usually writing by committee, even when the committee was just in my head.

Fuck that.

One of the biggest realisations in moving to this "Anti-Social" setup is how much energy I was wasting on people who don't actually exist. This isn't a marketing asset anymore. It’s not a lead-generation tool. It’s just a digital garden. It's me saying what I want to say, in the way I want to say it.

Stripping away the structured copy, certain posts or content having to be a particular length, the SEO, the Meta tags, thinking about imagery and the copywriters templates has given me something I’d forgotten I needed: the freedom to just write what I want. If a post is too short, fine. If it’s too blunt, even better. If it upsets someone who was looking for a "polished brand experience," they’re in the wrong place anyway.

From here on out, the only "audience" I’m writing for is myself. If you find something here that resonates, great, pull up a chair. But I’m done performing for the algorithm. I’m just going to say it as it is and let the chips fall where they may.

It’s liberating to finally stop caring.

Can We Get People Voting Again?

So, I'm standing as a Liberal Democrat paper candidate this May in Horbury and South Ossett. I’ve been looking back at previous election results, and what I found really surprised me. When the final votes are counted in local elections, the numbers often tell a heartbreaking story. It isn’t just about which party wins or loses; it’s the fact that, so often, only about a third of our community shows up. That means nearly two-thirds of our neighbours effectively have no say in how their local area is run.

Since I uncovered this last week, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that silent majority. I refuse to believe that the people who stay home don’t care. I know they care. They care about the state of our roads and pavements, bin collections, fly-tipping, the quality of our children’s education, and the dignity of social care for our elderly. Talking to people about this, there is a very strong view that politics is just something that happens to us, rather than something we can actually shape.

Local Politics Isn’t Broken ... It’s Waiting for You

I hear it all the time: "Why bother? My vote can't influence anything!" But that’s just not true. From transport and infrastructure to the very heart of our local economy, local authorities decide how millions of pounds of our money is spent. When we don't vote, we aren't "protesting", we are simply handing over a blank cheque to someone else to make those decisions for us.

Let’s just address this very dangerous myth that one vote doesn’t matter. In local elections, margins are often razor-thin. A single vote really does have the power to make a huge difference. If we take Horbury and South Ossett as an example, in the 2021 local elections, there were only 45 votes between the winner and second place! That is a handful of households. That is one street of people deciding the future for everyone else.

The Candidate Problem

Looking at the local landscape again, Labour has held control here since 2021, yet I don’t see their candidates out there promoting their achievements (perhaps because there aren't many) or even their party’s policies. To me, that’s scary. Right now in Westminster, the Labour Party and Keir Starmer are in hot water over the Peter Mandelson situation, and by staying silent locally, they are risking a knee-jerk reaction from our community. I’m personally worried that if people feel ignored by the left, they might end up looking too far to the right out of sheer frustration.

Candidates need to provide clear information because it pushes the local agenda and boosts turnout significantly. We don't need more "politics-as-usual"; people need a reason to believe their voice actually counts.

I am standing because I want to lower the barrier between the "political elite" and the real world. I want to show that local government isn't just some "minority interest" for people in suits; it is the direct engine room of our quality of life and our local spending power. This May, I'm hoping that the local electorate across the country don't let the silence decide their future.

Quick Microwave Protein Dukan Bread

I adore bread, but sometimes I know I need to cut down my consumption and eat something a bit healthier.

This is one of those handy little recipes that takes hardly any effort and gives you a quick, high-protein bread alternative in just a few minutes.

The basic idea works well, but if you find it tastes a little too eggy, a few small tweaks can make it feel more like bread and less like a microwaved omelette.

Ingredients

  • 3 dessertspoons of oat bran
  • 1 dessertspoon of plain yogurt
  • 1 dessertspoon of milk
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
  • A small pinch of salt

Method

  1. Add all the ingredients to a mug, ramekin, or small microwave-safe bowl.
  2. Mix well until the batter is smooth.
  3. Microwave for 2 minutes to 2 minutes 30 seconds, until nicely set. I use a shallow microwave-safe dish so it cooks in a good 'slice' shape
  4. Leave it to stand for 1 to 2 minutes before turning it out. This helps it firm up and improves the texture.
  5. Slice if needed, then grill both sides until lightly browned.
I started to find grilling after microwaving a bit of a pain, so I developed a high protein chickpea bread which I now prefer.

Easy Ways To Improve The Flavour

  • Add a pinch of black pepper for a more savoury finish.
  • Try a little garlic powder or onion powder to mask any egginess.
  • A small sprinkle of grated cheese works well if you want more flavour

Approximate Nutrition Per Bread

  • Calories: around 130 to 140 kcal
  • Protein: around 10 to 11g
  • Carbohydrates: around 13 to 15g
  • Fat: around 6 to 7g
  • Fibre: around 2 to 3g

Nutrition is approximate and will vary depending on the yogurt, milk, and exact spoon sizes used.

Serving Idea

This works nicely as a quick breakfast bread, toasted sandwich base, or something to have alongside eggs, cottage cheese, or a bit of peanut butter if you want to push the protein up further. As a vegetarian, I like to have this bread with Quorn Sausages or grilled Quorn Fillets for a filling lunch.

The Decisive Moment

I took this photo of a clownfish at the Jewel of the Sea Aquarium in SeaWorld, Orlando, back in April 2011. Just as I hit the shutter, a regal tang swam into frame.

It was only later, when I looked back at the image, that it clicked. I’d unintentionally captured Marlin and Dory (yes of Finding Nemo fame) together.

People often talk about Henri Cartier-Bresson and his idea of “The Decisive Moment”... that split second where everything comes together and you press the shutter with intent.

This wasn’t that.

This was pure luck. And maybe that’s what makes it even better.

Original photo

Original photo by Andrew Scaife

Cleaned up by AI

Cleaned up by AI



When Rosie met Sammy (Kids)

years ago, when my daughters were very young, I used to write little stories about the things they loved. This is one of them about our adorable (and sometimes slightly chaotic) family cat.

Suitable for ages 4 to 8 (read-aloud).

Story 2 of 2 in the “Rosie the Cat” series

When Rosie Met Sammy

Rosie is a small black and white cat. She lives in a big house and is looked after by two little girls.

Emily and Rebecca loved looking after Rosie, and each night they fed her and let her go outside to play.

One night, after Rosie had eaten her supper, she walked down the garden path, jumped onto the wall at the bottom of the garden, and settled down to sleep. All was quiet… well, almost.

Rosie could hear someone crying.

She looked up and down. She saw nothing. She looked left and right, and there, at the end of the wall, she saw a small squirrel sitting with its head in its paws, crying.

Rosie quietly walked over to the poor, sobbing animal.

“Hello,” said Rosie.

“Hello,” sobbed the squirrel.

“I’m Rosie,” said Rosie.

“I’m Sammy,” answered the squirrel.

“What’s the matter, Sammy?” asked Rosie.

“I’m lost,” replied Sammy, and he began to cry again. “I was playing, then exploring, and now I’m lost. I can’t find my way home.”

Rosie looked around to try to help her new friend.

“Do you live in these bushes?” she asked, trying to help.

Sammy looked at the bushes in the garden. They looked dark and prickly.

“No,” answered Sammy.

Rosie looked around again.

“Do you live in the shed?” she asked, looking towards the shed at the bottom of her garden.

Sammy looked at the shed. It looked warm, dry, and friendly, but it wasn’t where he lived.

“No,” the sad squirrel answered again.

“I live in a tree,” said Sammy. “In a drey.”

“A drey?” questioned Rosie.

“Yes, a drey is the place where squirrels live. They are dry, comfortable, and warm, and they are built high in trees.”

Suddenly, somewhere in the distance, a dog barked, giving Rosie and Sammy a fright.

“I don’t like it here,” said Sammy.

“Can you remember anything about where your drey is?” asked Rosie.

“Well,” said Sammy, thinking hard, “it’s in a tree. In fact, there are a lot of trees near it. It’s near a place where children play, and there is a small stream nearby.”

Rosie beamed a huge smile.

“I think I know where that is, Sammy.”

“Really? Is it far away?” asked Sammy, now smiling too.

“Not very far at all,” said Rosie.

They jumped down from the garden wall, and Rosie led the way. “We’ll stick to the shadows,” she said quietly, “and keep away from the street lights.”

They moved quickly down the road, staying close to the hedges, before darting into a big bush at the end. Cars passed by, their headlights sweeping across the road, but Rosie and Sammy stayed perfectly still, hidden in the darkness.

“This way,” whispered Rosie.

They slipped down the side of a house and into a back garden. Rosie peered ahead. The coast was clear.

She leapt over a fence, with Sammy hopping close behind, and they dropped down on the other side.

In front of them was a steep bank, and below it, a small stream. Across the stream, they could see a wooded area.

Rosie spotted a fallen branch nearby.

“Over here, Sammy,” she whispered.

Together, they hurried across the branch, balancing carefully as they crossed the stream. Then they climbed up the bank on the other side and pushed through thick, dense hedges.

When they emerged, Sammy’s eyes lit up.

Across the grassy clearing in front of them, and beyond a small childrens play area was a cluster of tall trees.

“Rosie, that’s it… I’m home!” he squeaked with delight.

Sammy gave Rosie a quick, grateful hug before racing across the grass, past a climbing frame and a set of swings, and up the nearest tree. High above, Rosie could see another squirrel rush forward and wrap him in a relieved hug.

Sammy turned, waved down at Rosie, and then disappeared into his drey.

Rosie sat for a moment, watching the tree, pleased that her new friend was safe.

Then, with a flick of her tail, she turned and quietly made her way back home, ready for a well-earned sleep.

An original story by Andrew Scaife (written in 2006)
© Andrew Scaife, 2006–. All rights reserved.

Rosie and the Playtime (Kids)

years ago, when my daughters were very young, I used to write little stories about the things they loved. This is one of them about adorable (and sometimes slightly chaotic) family cat.

Suitable for ages 4 to 8 (read-aloud).

Story 1 of 2 in the “Rosie the Cat” series

Rosie and the Playtime

Rosie loved the little girls that she lived with very much, but Emily and Rebecca were a little too bouncy and active for her sometimes, and all Rosie wanted to do most of the time was sleep.

Rosie loved to sleep and would spend large amounts of the day snoozing in a warm corner of the house, or under a particularly fragrant bush in the garden, and she never liked to have her sleep disturbed.

On this particular Sunday morning, Rosie had got herself settled nicely in front of the warm fire when she heard the unmistakable sound of the girls running downstairs, shouting her name.

“Rosie, Rosie, come out and play!” they both shouted together.

Rosie lifted her head, opened her eyes slightly, then simply settled down again as she listened to the laughter of the girls getting further and further away.

It seemed to Rosie that she had just got her head down again when Emily sat alongside her and started to stroke her.

“Come on Rosie,” whispered the excited little girl, “come and play with your toy mouse.”

Rosie was then aware of her favourite toy being galloped along the floor and all over her tired body. Rosie just rolled further onto her side and covered her eyes with her paws, stretching out her long, slender body for a good old stretch, before curling back into a ball.

But the girls were not going to give up that easily.

Rebecca leaned in close and whispered, “If you come and play, Rosie, you can have some extra treats later.”

One eye slowly opened.

Rosie lifted her head again, this time a little higher. Treats were something Rosie understood very well.

With a long, slow stretch, she finally stood up, flicked her tail, and began to walk quietly towards the back door. The girls looked at each other, trying to stay quiet, but their excitement bubbled over as they followed her outside.

In the garden, Rosie came alive.

She darted across the lawn, chasing after sticks the girls dragged along the grass. She pounced at invisible creatures only she could see, leaping high into the air before landing softly and racing off again. The girls chased her, laughing and calling her name, running back and forth across the garden.

For a while, Rosie forgot all about her nap.

Eventually, though, Rosie slowed. She stopped, looked around… and realised the girls were no longer chasing her.

Curious, she padded back towards the house.

The back door was still open. Rosie slipped inside and made her way into the living room.

There, curled up on the sofa, were Emily and Rebecca, fast asleep. Their playtime had worn them out completely.

Rosie paused for a moment, then jumped up gently between them. She turned in a small circle, settled herself comfortably, and with a soft purr, closed her eyes.

And so, after all that excitement, she finally got what they wanted… a nice, peaceful sleep.

An original story by Andrew Scaife (written in 2006)
© Andrew Scaife, 2006–. All rights reserved.

Why Do Squirrels Have Bushy Tails? (Kids)

years ago, when my daughter Rebecca was 14, we started writing stories together. I wrote a few children's stories at the time, and this is one of them.

Suitable for ages 4 to 8 (read-aloud).

Part 3 of 3 in the “Why Does It Work Like That?” series

Why Do Squirrels Have Bushy Tails?

When squirrels first appeared on the planet, they looked pretty similar to how they do today. The major difference was their tails.

While their tails were still made of hair, they were much thinner, rather like a rat’s tail.

You may not know this, but squirrels are messy creatures. Inside their homes, they tend to leave twigs, moss, and the shells of nuts and acorns all over the place, and since the beginning of time, this has been a problem for them.

Until one day, when one enterprising young squirrel decided to clean up his home. He found that brushing away the debris and dirt was difficult with his little arms and feet, and it left him very tired, so he decided to use his tail as a broom instead.

Now, he found that swishing his tail around was much easier, but with such a thin tail, the task still wasn’t an easy one to accomplish. Still, he carried on, and over the course of the day, he swished his tail around so much that something rather amazing started to happen. The hairs began to spring out, and his tail became bushier and bushier, and the sweeping became much easier.

At first, all the other squirrels laughed at this funny-looking youngster, but they quickly stopped when they saw how wonderfully clean his home was, and exactly how it got that way.

And that, dear friend, is why a squirrel’s tail is bushy, and why today squirrels have very tidy homes.

An original story by Andrew Scaife (written in 2013)
© Andrew Scaife, 2013–. All rights reserved.

Why Do Fish Swim? (Kids)

years ago, when my daughter Rebecca was 14, we started writing stories together. I wrote a few children's stories at the time, and this is one of them.

Suitable for ages 4 to 8 (read-aloud).

Part 2 of 3 in the “Why Does It Work Like That?” series

Why Do Fish Swim?

It’s a little-known fact that when fish first evolved, they stood upright on their tails and walked around much like we do today. A big problem for fish, though, was that they couldn’t wear shoes and socks on their tails, so walking on rough or hot ground was very uncomfortable. Because of this, they all walked around with rather grumpy looks on their faces.

One day, one small fish had really had enough of walking and hurt himself, so he sat in a hole in the path and sobbed. His tail hurt so much, and the more he thought about how much it hurt, the more upset he became. The more upset he got, the more he sobbed and cried.

After a while, his crying started to attract a large group of fish, who gathered around the hole to see what the matter was. Nobody could make him happy, so he became sadder and sadder, and cried more and more.

All the time he was crying about his poor, aching tail, the little hole began to fill up with his tears, so much so that the water rose up to his face. The little fish looked around and saw the huge crowd that had gathered. Suddenly, he felt very embarrassed. He dunked his head under the puddle of tears and kicked his tail to try to get away from everyone.

To his amazement, and to the amazement of all the other fish watching, the little fish glided quickly and effortlessly through the water. He kicked again with his tail and swam around faster and faster.

And to this day, while they could still walk on land on their tails if they wanted to, fish choose to swim, because it’s much easier.

An original story by Andrew Scaife (written in 2013)
© Andrew Scaife, 2013–. All rights reserved.

Why Is The Sky Blue? (Kids)

years ago, when my daughter Rebecca was 14, we started writing stories together. I wrote a few children's stories at the time, and this is one of them.

Suitable for ages 4 to 8 (read-aloud)

Part 1 of 3 in the “Why Does It Work Like That?” series

Why Is The Sky Blue

When the Goddess first created the planet that we all live on today, she was so proud of the rich tapestry of colours and textures she had woven into the land that, when it came to choosing what the sky would look like, she had no doubt at all. The sky should be a reflection of the beauty she saw in the hills, valleys, and fields, so she made it green.

It wasn’t long, however, before the other gods and goddesses pointed out that, with the land being so fertile and green, and the sky being such a beautiful hue of green too, it was often very difficult to determine where the sky ended and the land began. There was no horizon.

The Goddess thought long and hard about this problem. She loved the land she had created so much that the sky needed to somehow reflect this beauty.

After a few days and nights trying to decide on the best thing to do, she finally had a most magical idea.

She set to work immediately on creating the most beautiful sky. She used the brightest and best blue that she could lay her hands on, and dotted this new blue sky with deep, fluffy white clouds.

When she had finished, all the other gods and goddesses applauded what she had done and agreed that, in this new world, her work was the best.

An original story by Andrew Scaife (written in 2013)
© Andrew Scaife, 2013–. All rights reserved.

I Am Drinking Less!

I thought I’d share this little personal insight.  I review beers, so if you fancy a look, here’s my beer review channel and my beer review website

As you can imagine, reviewing beer does tend to involve drinking a fair bit of it.

At the start of this year, I made a conscious decision to cut back. I’ve just checked my numbers*

2026 YTD: 89 drinks

By this time last year: 148 drinks

That’s a 39.86% reduction... which I’ll happily take as a win so far this year.

*Every time I have a drink, I log it on Untappd (yes, really).

Crow Corner (Mild Horror)

The bend in the lane was known to every soul in the parish, though few spoke its name with ease. On the maps it was nothing more than a sharp dogleg between two hedgerows, but to locals it was Crow Corner. You could hear it before you reached it: the harsh, broken cries that filled the air, a chorus of hunger and accusation.

The trees that grew there seemed older than the land itself, oaks with limbs thick as a man’s torso, twisting low and heavy across the road. In summer, their branches knotted into a roof of green and shadow. In winter, they loomed like blackened skeletons, their boughs brittle with the weight of hundreds of birds.

The crows never left. From dawn till dusk they perched above the road, hopping across the branches, tilting their heads to stare down at passers-by with glassy, unblinking eyes. If you stopped beneath the canopy, the racket of wings and calls was deafening, as though the flock meant to drown out your thoughts. And the smell – even in the chill of January – was unmistakable: the sweet, metallic taint of rotting meat.

Few places collected death so readily. The corner was blind, its angles cruel, and the narrow road funnelled cars into its jaws without mercy. Every month or two, a fox, a badger, a deer, even the odd barn owl… all were struck, thrown into the ditch, and left for the birds. That was why they gathered, in their hundreds, always waiting.

There were stories too. Some said the crows were not natural at all, but souls trapped there, spirits of the wronged and restless. Others claimed that if you stood at midnight in the centre of the bend, you could hear whispers woven into the caws, voices of those who had died at the wheel.

Farmers spat when they passed it. Schoolchildren dared one another to cycle through, but none lingered long. Even the parish vicar once remarked that he felt watched whenever he travelled that way, as though the trees themselves had eyes.

Yet the place endured, as it always had, quiet but for its ceaseless choir of black wings.

And still, there were those who tempted fate.

Daniel’s name was known in the village, though few cared for it. He was simply “that lad with the car.” At twenty-one, he had inherited his uncle’s battered Ford Focus, and with it a sense of power far larger than the engine deserved.

Daniel had never cared much for books or steady work. He held down odd jobs here and there – labouring in summer, stacking shelves in winter – but nothing that lasted. What mattered was the road, the open stretch of tarmac where he could stamp his foot on the accelerator and feel, for a few fleeting seconds, like the master of something.

He wasn’t cruel by accident; it was part of him, stitched into his bones. When he first clipped a crow on the lane outside the village, the burst of feathers and the crack of bone had made him laugh out loud. He told his mates later, pint in hand at the Dog and Duck, how the bird had flailed, how it had bounced. Some had winced, others had chuckled nervously, but Daniel had grinned at their discomfort.

That was the beginning of his game.

Crow Corner offered endless sport. The birds gathered in their dozens, sometimes hundreds, spread across the tarmac to pick at the latest carcass. Daniel would gun the car round the bend, leaning into the wheel, teeth clenched, eyes fixed on the black mass ahead. Most times they lifted away, flapping in panic at the last second. But not always. Feathers struck glass; bodies crunched beneath tyres. Each hit gave him a thrill that no pint, no woman, no wage packet ever could.

He kept count, too. In a battered notebook shoved in the glove compartment, he tallied his kills with childish glee. Eleven in his first year. Twenty-four by the second. He took to boasting that the crows were learning his name, that they feared him now.

In the snug of the pub, the old men shook their heads and muttered. “He’ll get his comeuppance, that one,” said George Talbot, who had farmed the fields by Crow Corner since before the lad was born. But Daniel only smirked, sipping his lager. “Birds are daft, George. Plenty more where they came from.”

His mother fretted, as mothers do. She’d seen the scratches on the bonnet, the dried blood along the wheel arches. “It isn’t right, Danny,” she told him once, voice low and urgent. “Things like that… they stick to you. They come back.”

But Daniel had laughed, kissed her cheek, and slipped out to his car.

If anyone in the village had the nerve to stop him, they never showed it. The young can be frightening in their arrogance. And Daniel, with his dark eyes and careless grin, seemed untouchable.

At least, until the night when the crows decided enough was enough.

It was a damp October evening when Daniel set out. Mist clung low across the fields, softening hedgerows into shadows, and every breath on the wind smelled of rot and earth. The lane to Crow Corner was slick with fallen leaves, their colours lost to the night, pressed flat beneath the tyres of passing cars.

Daniel didn’t care for the weather, nor for caution. His music was loud, the thump of bass rattling the dashboard. He drummed his fingers on the wheel, the glow of his cigarette tip flaring in time with the beat.

He was restless, wired. It had been days since he’d caught one. Every time he tried, the crows seemed quicker, sharper, as if they knew him now. He’d missed three in a row last week and it gnawed at him. He told himself tonight would put it right. Tonight, he’d break his dry spell.

As he neared the bend, he slowed – not to be careful, but to savour it. Crow Corner was never quiet, never still. Even before he reached it, he heard them: the ragged chorus of cries, rising and falling like waves. His grin spread.

The headlights cut into the corner, the trees leaning overhead, their branches knitted into a crown of blackness. There they were, right on the tarmac, a scattering of shadows pecking at some unlucky fox. More perched in the branches above, their eyes glinting like beads in the glare.

Daniel tapped the wheel, foot twitching above the accelerator.

“Come on then,” he muttered. “Let’s see you scatter.”

He stamped his foot. The engine roared, the car lunged forward.

The crows didn’t move.

For a heartbeat, Daniel thought they hadn’t noticed him. But as the car drew closer, they lifted their heads in perfect unison. Dozens of black eyes fixed on him, not startled, not panicked – but steady. Waiting.

A shiver crawled across his skin. He pushed harder.

At the last second, they rose – but not away. They came at him.

The air was filled with wings, a furious beating, claws scraping across glass, feathers slapping the windscreen. Daniel swore, yanking at the wheel, blinded by the mass of bodies hammering against the car. The sound was deafening – not the usual scattered panic of birds, but a wall of rage, a storm of black.

The tyres skidded on wet leaves. The Ford lurched sideways, metal shrieking as it clipped the oak that marked the corner. The world exploded in glass and bark and pain.

For a moment, there was silence.

Smoke curled from the bonnet. The radio fizzled, then died. One headlight blinked against the ditch, throwing weak light across the tangle of branches.

Daniel’s body lay crumpled a few yards from the car, flung like a rag doll through the windscreen. Blood pooled beneath his temple, his chest rising faintly, raggedly. The smell of petrol mixed with the iron tang of blood, seeping into the night.

Above, the crows settled again, lining the branches as though nothing had happened. Only their eyes gleamed, catching the pale light, unblinking, endless.

And then, slowly, Daniel stirred.

Not his body. That stayed where it was, broken and limp on the ground. No, this was something else – a drifting, a pulling away, as though the breath that had left him refused to vanish.

He found himself rising, weightless, staring down at the wreckage below. The bent car. The ruined body. His ruined body.

Confusion clawed at him. He tried to scream, but no sound came. His arms – if he had arms – flailed uselessly. Still, the pull continued, higher, above the trees, into the cloud of crows that circled slowly overhead.

The murder welcomed him, wings brushing close, their voices loud and harsh in his ears. Yet beneath the caws, he thought he heard words – indistinct, but there, a whispering chorus.

Come down.

Join us.

His vision narrowed, his thoughts blurred. All he felt was the compulsion – an irresistible tug, dragging him not away, but down again. Down into blackness, down into hunger. Down into the murder.

Daniel’s thoughts were scrambled, his mind a whirlpool of panic and disbelief. He should have been dead; the windscreen, the oak, the blood… it all screamed it. And yet, he drifted, weightless, above the ruin of his body. Every instinct cried out to retreat, to flee, but no limbs obeyed. There were no limbs. Only a strange, pulling force, tugging him downward, toward the shattered remains he no longer recognised as himself.

The crows had settled in the trees again, their eyes catching the pale light from the moon, reflecting it like shards of glass. At first, he thought it was his imagination, that the shadows were flickering, but then he saw it clearly: they weren’t merely watching. They were judging. The rhythm of their calls was harsh, deliberate, a language older than any book, older than the lane itself.

Fear clawed at him. He tried to scream, to warn himself, to claw free of the force dragging him down… but there was no voice. Only thought, a thin thread of consciousness that trembled with horror. And yet, with that terror came a strange, inexorable compulsion, a beckoning that he could not refuse. He fell, not with gravity, but with the pull of something older, something that had waited a long time for him.

As he neared the ground, he saw it all at once: the broken body, the bent car, the spreading pool of blood. And there, at the edge, a single crow, picking with methodical patience at one pale eye. Daniel’s stomach lurched, his heart—or what he felt in its place—twisted with a terror he had never known. The creature raised its head, black beak glinting, and for a fleeting instant, he felt the world bend; a whisper of thought passed through him, not his own, but belonging to the murder above.

You will feed. You will serve. You will become part of what you once mocked.

The air seemed to thrum with centuries of memory, of life and death repeating itself at Crow Corner. Daniel understood, in that moment, that it was not mere chance that he had come here, nor mere misfortune. The corner had waited. The trees, the birds, the land itself — all of it had conspired, patient as stone, to collect what was owed. And now he owed.

Panic and revulsion warred within him as he fell closer, a ghostly extension of himself merging with the black-feathered shape above the corpse. He tried to resist, tried to pull back, but the will of the corner was stronger, older than his defiance, and the cawing around him became a chorus that echoed inside his skull. He felt himself change, feel the hunger, the cold precision of beak and claw. He could sense the body below, the brittle bones, the soft flesh, and the iron scent of blood that called to him.

The first contact was surreal — alien and horrifying. His consciousness recoiled as the beak pierced what was once his eye. Yet even in terror, a twisted understanding crept over him. This was the reckoning, the cycle of the place, the price for arrogance and cruelty. He was both himself and not, observer and participant, condemned to the flock, to Crow Corner, to the unending rhythm of life and death it commanded.

Daniel’s new consciousness shivered through feathers and bones not his own. He was no longer the boy who had laughed at flapping wings, nor the reckless driver who had treated life as a game. Every sense was sharpened, attuned to the world of black eyes and ragged calls, to the scent of carrion and the taste of iron in the wind.

Below, the broken body lay sprawled, pale and lifeless. The first beak dipped, precise, pulling at the flesh that had once been his own. Terror surged in what remained of his human mind, but it was no longer enough. Compulsion and instinct ruled. He joined the motion, swooping down, feeling the sharp thrill of each tear and tug, the strange sick satisfaction of survival within the murder.

Around him, the flock stirred, wings rustling like dry leaves, eyes glinting in silent approval. The corner had claimed its own, as it always did. Daniel’s laughter, once cruel and careless, had been replaced by a darker knowledge: this was no accident, no random misfortune. Crow Corner endured, patient and eternal, balancing life and death with an impartial, feathered hand.

And as the moon rose over the trees, silvering the slick lane, the crows fed, watching, waiting. The young man’s spirit was gone, subsumed into the flock, a single pulse within the rhythm of Crow Corner. The wind whispered through the branches, carrying the caws across the lane, a warning and a promise to all who dared the blind bend.

By morning, the lane would be quiet again. But the trees, the blood, and the endless eyes above would remember.

Crow Corner was eternal.

 

Crow Corner

The bend in the lane had always unsettled Daniel, long before he ever thought to challenge it. Locals called it Crow Corner in hushed tones, with a sort of grudging respect, and he understood why. Even on a bright morning, when the sun slanted through the trees, it felt wrong — the hedgerows crowded close, their shadows thick and tangled across the tarmac, as if the corner waited, and always would, the air heavy with something he could not name. The scent of wet leaves and rotting carrion hung faintly, metallic and sweet, curling into the corners of his mind like smoke.

From the very first moment he’d driven past, he had sensed the watching. Not just the branches swaying in the wind, not just the occasional rabbit scuttling through the undergrowth, but something more deliberate, eyes following, waiting. He told himself it was imagination, that the countryside played tricks on the mind, but a cold shiver down his spine argued otherwise.

By twenty-one, Daniel had grown reckless. The inherited Ford Focus was barely more than clattering metal and stubborn gears, yet it gave him a power he had never known elsewhere. The corner, he decided, was his stage. The first crow he struck, flailing beneath the tyres, had made him laugh — an abrupt, hollow sound that had startled even himself. That shock had curdled into thrill, and the game had begun.

He kept a tally in a battered notebook tucked into the glove compartment. Eleven first year. Twenty-four by the second. Each number felt like mastery, proof he was untouchable. Yet beneath the bravado, unease had begun to grow — a dark seed lodged behind his ribs. At night, he dreamed of black shapes, of eyes too bright, of caws threading through his pulse, whispering warnings he could not quite decipher.

Crow Corner itself was oppressive. The oaks leaned close, their bark jagged like stone, branches twisting overhead, casting shadows that seemed to slither with intent. Fallen leaves carpeted the tarmac, slick and brown, the smell of decay sweet and cloying. Even in daylight, the lane seemed to bend unnaturally, forcing him toward the trees. At dusk, the mist rolled low, ghostly white, blurring the line between road and hedgerow, until the corner felt less like a road and more like a waiting presence.

Despite it all, Daniel pressed on. The thrill called, irresistible. When the first birds stirred at the headlights, their wings flapping, their black eyes gleaming, he felt both triumph and unease. They rose, not scattered, not afraid, but organized, flapping in a wall that seemed to pulse with his own heartbeat.

Shortly after, the collision.

Metal screamed. Glass shattered. Daniel was hurled through the windscreen, a ragdoll in a nightmare. Pain, sharp and immediate, blossomed across him. The world spun. Silence followed. Then the mist.

And he drifted, weightless, beyond his body, watching the ruin of what had once been him.

Above, the crows resettled, wings folding, eyes glinting like polished stones. They waited, patient, eternal. Daniel’s mind reeled. Panic tore through him, disbelief and nausea. He tried to scream, but no sound emerged. His body on the ground lay broken and still, but he… he was somewhere else, hovering, drawn downward by an irresistible pull.

Join us, whispered the rhythm of wings, threaded with voices older than the trees. You will feed. You will serve. You will become part of what you mocked.

The pull consumed him. He swooped, instinct and compulsion overriding every human thought. The first beak met the pale, lifeless flesh. Terror and nausea collided with a shock of exhilarating power. Daniel’s mind twisted, struggling to hold onto the memory of what he had been, what he had done. It was futile. The corner had claimed him.

The trees leaned closer. Mist swirled in the silver light of the moon. The lane seemed narrower, alive with movement, the black shapes above circling in deliberate rhythm. Daniel’s panic gave way to understanding — grotesque, incomprehensible, and absolute. The corner was no mere place. It was patient, sentient, eternal. And it had waited for him.

His arrogance, his laughter, his cruelty dissolved into the rhythm of the murder. He became part of the flock, his consciousness threaded into the pulse of the crows. One of them tilted its head, black eye glinting in moonlight, the first act of judgment complete. Daniel understood, with a sickening clarity, that this was not punishment in the petty sense. This was balance. Life, death, predator, prey, arrogance, humility — all exacted with the inexorable patience of the corner.

By morning, the lane would appear empty, peaceful even, as if nothing had happened. But Crow Corner remembered. The trees, the mist, the blood, the endless black eyes above — all held memory. And one more soul, once human, now forever part of the cycle, fed the legacy of the place.

The bend waited.
Crow Corner waited, and would always wait.

An original short story by Andrew Scaife
© Andrew Scaife, 2026. All rights reserved. 

Making AI Sound Human

A colleague recently sent me an AI-written product description and asked a simple question, and asked me how it looked and did it look like it was written by AI.

The short answer was "Yes." ... not because it was bad - but because it was too good.

It was clean, well structured, easy to scan, and covered every point you’d expect. On paper, it did everything right ... and that’s exactly the problem.

AI content tends to give you the sam results. Same rhythm (same number of parapgraphs in each sentence). Same tone. Same balance. It’s designed to be easy to read, which sounds like a good thing, until you realise it makes everything feel, look and sound the same.

The problem my colleague had here was that this was for website content, not only would it looks like everyone else’s, but it woud be obvious to a search engine that it was AI generated and they would therefore have a real reason to rank it. 

I love AI, I love AI content, you just need to know how to use AI properly. I used to make the mistake of just asking AI to "humanise" content, the problem was, AI doesn't know how to humanise anything, we have to tell it.

Anyway, here’s what I shared with him. 

I have also written a separate post to show the best way to get AI to sound like a human.

1. Your prompt is really important

If you ask AI “Write me a product description for...” ... you’ll get safe, predictable copy back. It’ll be fine. It’ll also be forgettable.

Change the prompt, and everything changes.

Ask it to write like someone with 20+ years’ experience who’s slightly fed up with how these products are usually described. Suddenly the tone changes. It gets less polished, a bit more opinionated, a bit more real.

That’s where things start to feel human, you've given it something human to think about, and it will change the response. What I would say here is don't be over dramatic (unless the piece asks for it), just use enough to feel honest.

2. Add opinion. AI won’t do it unless you tell it to

AI plays it safe by default. It avoids strong opinions, avoids friction, and avoids saying anything that might be challenged, we don’t (even though maybe we should sometimes!)

So feed it lines like:

“We use these all the time here.”
“This is our Sales Manager’s go-to product.”
“You can buy cheaper, but it won’t be a as good as this.”

Or just be direct, like we can all be sometimes:

“We think this is the best option on the market right now.”

I suppose what I try to do with statements like this is get a bit of emotion into the writing, AI doesn't do emotion unless you ask it to and give it examples. This sort of language instantly changes the feel of the content.

3. Break the rhythm

AI loves consistency. Same length sentences. Same flow. Same pacing ... but humands don’t write like that.

So add this to the prompt:

“Vary sentence length. Mix short and long sentences.”

It sounds basic, but it works. But it forces the content out of that predictable pattern.

And don’t be afraid of a short sentence on its own.

Like this.

But don't overdo it, AI can something provide a piece of copy with a lot of short, choppy sentences, it makes sense because it is easy to read, but it is also a giveaway that it's AI written.

5. Edit it. Properly.

AI will get you 80% of the way there, the last 20% is all down to you I'm afriad.

Read it through. change bits, add some personal references, take bits out, reformat bits, It's your content, nobody know you better than you. 

MY GOLDEN RULE: If you HAVEN'T edited it, DO NOT publish it. 

AI is a brilliant tool. I use it all the time, but getting it to sound human isn’t about pressing a button and hoping for the best, it’s about knowing how to steer it in the right direction, and then putting your own stamp on the result. 

Harry and Meghan Don’t Want to Vanish. They Just Want Boundaries

I keep seeing the same tired line about Harry and Meghan. If they want privacy so much, why are they still in the media?

But that question misses the point completely.

They are not asking to become invisible. They are asking for something most normal people would see as basic. Consent. A line between public work and private life.

If Meghan turns up for a charity event, gives an interview, launches a project, or backs a cause, that is public work. Fair enough. That comes with attention, scrutiny, and debate.

But home life, family moments, their children, and the parts of life that happen when the cameras should be off, that is different. That is not hypocrisy. That's just a boundary.

The latest coverage around Meghan, including her saying she had been “the most trolled person in the world” source: BBC, only underlines the problem. Public life does not give the public unlimited rights to a person’s private existence.

There is also the bit people either ignore, or pretend not to understand. Harry and Meghan no longer have taxpayer funding in the way working royals do. So yes, media, visibility, partnerships, and public-facing projects are part of how they earn a living. That is not some great scandal. That is their business model.

Plenty of high-profile people do exactly the same. Actors, presenters, writers, business owners, sports stars. They use their profile for work, and still expect to shut the front door at the end of the day.

That is what Harry and Meghan seem to be trying to do. Not disappear. Not dodge criticism. Just control their own story, earn their own money, and protect the parts of life that do not belong to the public.

Honestly, that does not sound outrageous to me. It sounds normal.

Was Donald Trump Born a Compulsive Liar?

As you may have seen, Trump shared an AI image of himself as Jesus.

Then said it was just him “playing a doctor”, he event said "That’s what most people thought.". Did they Donald? I don't think they did!

This brief episode tells you everything you need to know about this man.

We all know that politicians stretch the truth. That’s nothing new; and yes, they sometime lie. But this is way different. This is saying that something everyone can see isn’t true, then blaming everyone else for not agreeing.

Recent Claims vs Reality

  • On the AI “Jesus” image (April 2026) – Said it was him “playing a doctor”, despite the image clearly using religious, Christ-like symbolism and being widely interpreted that way across media and religious groups.
  • “If I weren’t president, the world would be torn to pieces” (April 2026) – A sweeping personal claim about global stability with no supporting evidence, made during ongoing unresolved conflicts.
  • Iran nuclear programme “obliterated” (2025–2026) – Repeatedly claimed US strikes completely destroyed Iran’s nuclear capability, but international agencies and fact-checkers confirmed the programme was damaged, not eliminated.
  • “War is basically won” / Strait of Hormuz reopened (March 2026) – Claimed victory and reopening of key trade routes while fighting and disruption were still ongoing.
  • Iran had Tomahawk missiles (March 2026) – Claimed Iran carried out an attack using Tomahawk missiles, despite the US being the only known operator of that weapon system.
  • Claims of imminent Iran deal (April 2026) – Suggested a deal was close, even as negotiations had already failed and no agreement had been reached.
  • Claims Pope Leo made a statement that its OK for Iran to have nuclear weapons (April 2026) - in fact Pope Leo has never said Iran should be permitted to possess nuclear weapons and has repeatedly spoken out against them, including in a March 5 video.

So what is it with him?

Either it’s deliberate. Say something outrageous, stay in the headlines, keep control of the narrative. Or, and this is the truly worrying part, does he actually believes what he’s saying.

When he says things like “if I wasn’t president, the world would be torn to pieces”, it leans hard into that saviour idea. Not confidence. Something else.

At this point, if he told you the sky was blue, you’d still need check out of the window.

Realistically it’s probably a mix of ego, strategy, and something a bit harder to pin down.

But the result is the same. People stop believing you, and luckily, Americans are starting to disbelieve Donald Trump.

What The F**K is Protein Anyway?

You think you’re eating alright… then you actually look at your protein intake and realise you’re miles off.

That was me. Late 50s, vegetarian, eating what I thought was a decent mix of Quorn, mushrooms, beans, and pulses. All the usual “good stuff”. Then I roughly added it up… about 30g of protein a day. That’s not just a bit low, that’s nowhere near.

Then you start researching it, apparently you need 100g, 120g, or even more; I called one of my daughters who is a Dietician and she said at my age, I need 150g a day. Bit of a wake-up call.

So… what actually is protein?

Protein isn’t just something gym lads bang on about, I mean they do, but it's more important than just building muscle so you can do more bicep curls!

It’s the basic building material your body runs on. Every cell, every bit of tissue, every repair job your body does… it all needs protein.

The brief science bit: Strip it right back and protein is made up of amino acids. Think of them as the small bits that get pieced together to build and maintain your body.

Without enough of them, things don’t run properly. Simple as that.

What protein actually does in your body

This is the bit most people don’t realise. As already mentioned, protein isn’t just about muscle. It’s doing jobs all over the place, every day, whether you notice it or not:

  • Repairs and rebuilds tissue
    Skin, hair, nails, muscles, and organs are constantly breaking down and rebuilding.
  • Supports your immune system
    Your body produces proteins that help fight off bacteria and viruses.
  • Helps with digestion
    Enzymes, which break down food, are made from protein.
  • Provides structure and strength
    Think collagen, the stuff that holds skin, tendons, and ligaments together.
  • Transports and stores nutrients
    Some proteins move vitamins and minerals around your body where they’re needed.

Protein isn’t really for energy

Here’s something that surprised me.

Yes, your body can use protein for energy… but it really doesn’t want to. It would much rather use carbohydrates and fats first. Protein is more valuable doing the jobs above, so your body tries to save it for that.

Which means if you’re not eating enough, your body has to start cutting corners. Not ideal.

The reality… most of us aren’t getting enough

It’s easy to assume you are. You eat a bit of this, a bit of that, and it feels balanced. But when you actually track it, it can be way lower than you think.

Plant-based foods do contain protein, but often not in the amounts you’d expect unless you’re being deliberate about it.

That was the shock for me. Quorn, beans, lentils… all good, but you need more volume, and more planning, than you might think to hit proper daily targets.

Vegetarian? You’ve got to be more intentional

If you eat meat, it’s easier. Chicken, turkey, pork, and lean beef are all protein-dense. You don’t have to try too hard.

If you’re vegetarian, it takes a bit more thought:

  • Eggs and dairy can help massively if you eat them
  • Lentils, chickpeas, and beans are solid, but not as dense
  • Tofu and tempeh are worth getting used to
  • Quorn is useful, but not a magic fix
  • Nuts and seeds help, but bring calories with them

I've had to resort to necking some Whey Protein every day just to help, even now, I probably eat no more than 100g a day, but its better than where I was.

... And Finally

Protein isn’t some niche fitness thing. It’s basic maintenance for your body.

If you’re not getting enough, you’re effectively running your system on the cheap.

You don’t need to panic. You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. But it’s worth checking.

Because if you’re anything like me… what you think you’re getting, and what you’re actually getting, are two very different numbers.

Why Don't People Vote

When I signed up to be a Liberal Democrat candidate for Horbury and South Ossett, I started digging into our local history. I’ll be honest: I was shocked. Back in the 2019 local elections, the turnout was just 32.2%.

Think about that. Nearly 70% of our neighbors didn’t feel that any of the names on that ballot paper represented them or their community. It’s a staggering silence. It’s easy to say people are just "uninterested," but I think the truth is more uncomfortable: people don’t vote because they don’t see themselves, or their values, in the people asking for their support.

Where is the Local Identity?

For too long, we’ve seen the "old guard" take these seats for granted. When voters don't see someone sticking their head up and saying, "Look at us, and look at what we can actually achieve for our streets and our community," they switch off. If the choice feels like a carbon copy of the same old politics, why bother walking to the polling station?

We need candidates who don't just want a seat, but who want to represent the identity of Horbury and Ossett. People are waiting for someone to relate to, someone who understands that local issues aren't just bullet points in a manifesto, but the fabric of our daily lives.

The Trust Gap and the "Safe Seat" Trap

There is a deep disillusionment with the political elite. Many feel that the system is rigged for the same few voices to keep winning. This creates a "safe seat" trap: if you think your vote won't make a difference, you stay home, and the same cycle continues. But that 32% figure proves that there is a missing majority. If even a fraction of that 70% found someone they believed in, the "old guard" wouldn't know what hit them.

The Social Media Bubble & The Knowledge Gap

It doesn't help that our world is increasingly partitioned by algorithms. Our social feeds often tell us everything is fine, or that everyone thinks exactly like we do. Combine that with a political process that is often made to feel intentionally confusing, and it’s no wonder people feel alienated. We need to break that bubble by showing up in person, on the doorstep, and proving that local politics is accessible, understandable, and, most importantly, vital.

It’s Time to Speak Up

I’m sticking my head up because I refuse to believe that Horbury and South Ossett are "apathetic." I think we are just waiting for a reason to care again. We don't have to settle for the status quo. That "missing 70%" holds all the power, we just have to give them a reason to use it..

Why Everyone Thinks They Can Do Marketing

…and why most of them are kidding themselves

Somewhere along the way, marketing got mistaken for “posting stuff online.” or a simple email out to all your customers meant that you've launched a product ... all this is social medias fault, it made marketing (or promotion) feel accessible to all, tools made it feel easy, and now it seems like anyone with a login thinks they’ve cracked it.

Blame the platforms. Blame Canva. Blame AI tools like ChatGPT and the rest of them. You can knock up something that looks decent in minutes, so it feels like the hard part’s done before you’ve even started thinking.

Write something. Generate an image. Add a hashtag. Post something. Sit back and wait for the sales to roll in.

That’s the expectation. That’s also where it starts going wrong.

The tools are easy. The thinking isn’t.

The problem isn’t the tools. They’re brilliant for what they do. But they don’t replace thinking, and they don’t build a strategy for you.

Without a plan, you’re just making noise. You’re putting things out there without any real direction, and hoping something sticks.

I’ve seen it more times than I can count. Nice-looking posts, clean design, plenty of activity… and absolutely nothing coming back from it. No engagement, no leads, no sales.

Non-marketing folk clammer for Followers and Engagement - it's all bullshit. I tell anyone that starts working with me in marketing that if only one person follows me, and they are a journalist, and they engage with everything i do, I would be VERY happy. 

Once you actually step back and work out who you’re talking to, what you’re trying to say, and why it matters, things start to move. It’s never the font or the colours. It’s always the thinking behind it.

Social media didn’t create marketers. It created confidence.

One post does well and suddenly someone’s a marketing expert. You see it everywhere now, especially on social media. I've had a couple of Tik-Tok posts go viral, I'm no fecking expert on the platform, I have very little idea what I'm doing on it - but sometimes you get lucky.

A meme lands, something gets shared a few times, and next thing they’re selling “growth strategies” in their bio. It looks convincing on the surface, but there’s usually not much underneath it.

Posting content is not marketing. Marketing is understanding why people buy, what stops them buying, and what makes them trust you over someone else.

Likes might feel good, but they don’t pay the bills. Revenue does.

AI has made this worse, not better

This is the bit a lot of people won’t say out loud. AI hasn’t made everyone better at marketing, it’s just made everyone faster at producing, at best, very average content.

Most people don’t know what to ask, so they get surface-level answers back. Slightly off, slightly generic, and usually missing the point… but written well enough that it feels right.

And that’s the danger. Because it sounds good, people assume it is good, and out it goes.

AI is only as good as the prompt behind it. If you don’t understand marketing, you won’t spot when the answer’s wrong. You’ll just publish it and wonder why nothing happens.

That’s why so much AI content looks the part but doesn’t deliver. It’s been written without any real understanding behind it.

Marketing is slow. That’s the part nobody likes

There’s this idea that marketing should deliver instant results. Run something today, see the spike tomorrow.

In reality, it’s slower and a lot less glamorous. It’s testing, tweaking, reviewing, and going again. Over and over.

Some of it’s creative, sure. But a big chunk of it is looking at what didn’t work, digging into the numbers, and figuring out why. God I love the numbers stuff.

That’s where the real progress comes from. Not the “publish” button.

What you actually need (and what most people skip)

When you strip it back, proper marketing comes down to a few core things. None of them are particularly flashy, but all of them matter.

You need to know who you’re talking to. Not “everyone” or “anyone who might buy”, but actual people with specific needs and problems.

You need to understand how you’re different. And no, “we care more” isn’t a strategy. Everyone says that.

You need messaging that lands. Something that makes people stop and think, “that’s exactly what I need.”

And you need data. What’s working, what isn’t, and what needs to change. If you’re not measuring it, you’re guessing.

You’re probably not going viral

It’s worth saying this plainly. Going viral is not a strategy. It’s luck. I know - it happened to me.

I just love it when Sales asks me to create a post or video that will go viral, I'm sure my face gives away the fact that they have just admitted they know nothing about marketing :-) 

I admit, it happens to some, but most businesses grow through consistent, steady improvements. Better targeting, clearer messaging, smarter decisions.

It’s not flashy, but it works. And it lasts.

It’s not about pretty posts

People love the creative side of marketing. The visuals, the layouts, the clever copy. And yes, that stuff matters.

But if it doesn’t perform, it doesn’t matter how good it looks. You need to know who clicked, who converted, and who came back.

Without that, you’re just decorating the internet and hoping for the best.

A quick reality check

I’ve been doing this for 35-ish years. I know what the feck I’m talking about.

Knowing how to use a platform doesn’t make you a marketer. And your cousin’s aunty spending two weeks in a marketing office doesn’t count as experience either.

This is a craft. It takes time to learn, and even longer to get properly good at.

The reality

Marketing is easy to start, and that’s the problem. It gives the impression anyone can do it well.

They can’t. It’s strategy, psychology, data, and execution all working together. Miss one of those, and the whole thing weakens.

The tools have opened the door. Knowing what to do once you’re through it… that’s the difference.

I'm now a Liberal Democrat Candidate

You don’t often get a chance to stand up and actually do something about the direction things are heading.

So I’ve taken it.

I’m standing as a candidate for the Liberal Democrats in Horbury and South Ossett ward, Wakefield, for the local elections on May 7th 2026.

And yes, I know what that means.
No big campaign machine.
No expectation of winning (if I get 10 votes I'll be happy)
No grand illusion that I’ll be walking into the council chamber any time soon.

But that’s not really the point.

I actually started this as a paper candidate. Just a name on a ballot paper. But once I realised that ballot paper was for Horbury and South Ossett, I took a proper look at the area. I spoke to people. I listened.

What I heard surprised me. A lot of locals felt their councillors weren’t doing enough for the area, so I started doing small things. Reporting potholes. Flagging dangerous paving. Raising fly-tipping issues.

Nothing big. Nothing glamorous. But real things.

At that point, I stopped being a paper candidate. I became someone who actually wants to see things improve.

Where this all started

Politics has always been there in the background for me.

I used to argue with my grandad about it when I was younger. Not in a hostile way. We just enjoyed the back and forth. The ideas, the principles, the “what ifs”. It was never about shouting louder. It was about thinking harder.

When I was old enough to vote, I did what most people should do but many don’t. I looked around properly.

What do I actually believe?

I landed on a set of values that felt consistent and grounded.

Social justice matters.
We should be working with Europe, not turning our backs on it.
Power should be pushed down, not hoarded at the top.
The NHS should be protected and strengthened, not chipped away at.

Over time, those views lined up most closely with the Liberal Democrats.

So why stand if you’re not going to win?

Because doing nothing guarantees nothing changes.

Standing puts a name on the ballot. It gives people a choice. It keeps the Liberal Democrats visible in an area where that choice might otherwise disappear.

And it gives me a platform to say what I believe in.

Not a big one.
Not a polished one.
But a real one.

I’ve already started doing practical things locally. Reporting issues. Paying attention to what’s actually happening on the ground.

It’s not glamorous, but it matters.

The bigger reason

There’s a shift happening in parts of the UK. You can see it, hear it, feel it. The tone is getting sharper. The divide feels wider.

Alongside that, something else has crept in. More hostility. More blame. More language that pushes people apart rather than brings them together. And that worries me.

Now I’ll be clear. Not everyone flying a St George’s flag means anything negative by it. Of course they don’t. But when symbols start appearing alongside language that excludes and divides, it changes how they come across. It changes what they signal.

I don’t think we should just ignore that.

If you believe in a fair, open, outward-looking country, you don’t stay quiet while that grows. You push back.

Why this matters, even if it’s small

This isn’t about winning a seat. For me now, it’s about putting a marker down.

It’s about saying there are still people who believe in cooperation over division. Evidence over noise. Fairness over blame.

I’m a Yorkshire lad, born and bred. I see how some councils lose touch with the people they’re meant to serve, and in a small way, I want to help change that.

I’ve also seen how a good local councillor can make a real difference to a community. Knottingley Lib Dem councillors, I’m looking at you.

It’s about reminding people that there are alternatives.

Even if only a handful of people see my name on that ballot and think, “That’s closer to what I believe,” then it’s worth it.

Because change doesn’t always start with a landslide. Sometimes it starts with one extra name on a ballot paper.

Progress

It’s been an eye opener for me, this short journey. It really has.

Horbury is less than 30 minutes away from me, so I’ve been able to get over there most evenings and weekends.

I’ve spent time talking to residents and local business owners, reporting potholes, broken pavements, immigration, anti-social behaviour, fly-tipping etc. These are some of the typical concerns people have raised with me.

And some of those potholes have already been assessed by Wakefield Council and are now scheduled for repair.

I’m starting to understand what people mean when they say politics should be local. It’s not speeches or big promises. It’s turning up, listening, and getting basic things sorted.

If you’re reading this because you searched “who should I vote for in Horbury”, I won’t pretend I’m the perfect answer, but I have shown up. I’ve listened. I’ve reported local issues, and some are already moving through the system.

If you want councillors who turn up, listen, and get basic things sorted, I hope you’ll consider voting Liberal Democrat in Horbury and South Ossett.

And finally...

I’m not a career politician.
I’m not trying to be one.

I’m just someone who still thinks this stuff matters enough to show up.

And right now, that feels like the least I should be doing.

Post-Election Update

So... the results are in.

I didn’t win.

The three Reform UK candidates took the seats in Horbury and South Ossett, which probably says a lot about the wider national mood around politics at the moment.

I ended up with 156 votes, which if I’m being honest, is far more than I expected when this whole thing started.

I originally agreed to stand as what politics calls a “paper candidate”. Basically, someone to make sure the party had a name on the ballot paper.

But once I started speaking to residents, seeing local issues first-hand, and actually getting involved, I found myself getting surprisingly competitive.

I reported potholes, spoke to local businesses, discussed Cedar Court with residents, and spent far more time wandering around Horbury than I ever expected to.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling like a paper candidate and started feeling like... well... an actual candidate.

The biggest thing I learned is that local politics and national politics are now heavily blurred together. People absolutely care about roads, fly tipping, healthcare, and anti-social behaviour, but many votes are still driven by national mood and national frustration.

Still, I genuinely enjoyed parts of it.

I met some good people, had some interesting conversations, and got a proper insight into how local campaigning works.

And for a first-time candidate standing in a Ward 30 minutes from home with no political background or political support whatsoever... I’ll happily take 156 votes.

A short, but fulfilling political career 🙂

From Marketing Agency to Digital Garden

The Pivot: From Marketing Agency to Digital Garden

For over a decade, this corner of the internet has been my "office." It was a place for all things Marketing,  SEO tips and professional advice designed to help businesses rank, grow and thrive. It served its purpose, but lately, the walls have started to feel a bit thin.

The truth is, the internet has changed, and so have I. We’ve moved into the era of the "infinite scroll", a noisy stream of algorithmic drivel from people I don't particularly like and opinions I didn't ask for.

Take LinkedIn, for example. It used to be a place to actually learn and grow professionally. Now? it’s a performative circus. It’s become a race to the bottom of "thought leadership" and engagement bait. I realised I’m done contributing to that noise. I missed the old web, the one where personal blogs felt like actual conversations instead of polished sales pitches or desperate grabs for a "like."

Why I’m Clearing the Deck

I’m moving away from the "Marketing Agency" template, both literally and figuratively. This site is now a Digital Garden. It’s a personal social site without the social pressure or the ego-driven metrics.

It’s a place for things that don't necessarily "scale" or "convert," but actually matter to me:

  • The "Now": A simple log of what I’m actually doing, reading, and thinking today.
  • Consumer Rights: Ranting with a purpose when the system fails.
  • Beer Reviews: Because life is too short for bad pints and even shorter for bad reviews.
  • Rants: I like a rant, I've proud that I've finally become a "grumpy old man".
  • Politics: I used to argue about politics with grandad, not that we had different opinions, we just enjoyed it - I can do it here now.
  • Contract Shenanigans: The real-world headaches from me where I've taken on all sorts of businesses - and won! 

The Benefits

By stripping away the professional "armour," I get to write more honestly. You get a feed that isn't trying to sell you a consulting package or a "proven framework."

I saw Bear Blog, and it's a good looking platform, but I had so nuch stuff in Blogger I really didn't want to lose any of it, but I liked the styling of it, I liked the minimalistic look and feel of it, then I started reading about Digital Gardens, and I thought that was me. So, I’ve moved to a much leaner, minimalist Blogger setup. No tracking cookies, no "suggested posts", no comments, or Like buttons; just text (and the occasional pic), it's me, the real me.

The old marketing archives are still here if you need them, but the new growth is going to look a little different. It’ll be shorter, more frequent, and significantly more human.

Thanks for sticking around for the rebrand. I’m looking forward to screaming into the void again, only this time, without the LinkedIn "influencers" screaming back.

— Andy

Ponient Dorada Palace, Salou Review

Stayed: 15–26 September 2025
Room type: Self-catering apartment
Overall score: 6.5/10

We stayed at Ponient Dorada Palace in Salou (Spain) from 15–26 September 2025, in one of their self-catering apartments.

The hotel is affiliated with PortAventura World, which shapes the feel of the place. It is around a 20-25 minute walk to PortAventura and around 15 minutes to the beach, so location-wise it worked well for us.

The apartment gave us plenty of space, with a small kitchen and balcony. That made a real difference over an 11 night stay.

The room we had was on one of the sides if the hotel with a view of Portaventura World (and a big carpark), but the neighbourhood was quiet.

Accommodation

The apartment was clean, spacious, and well appointed. Nothing felt tired or neglected, and everything worked as it should.

We had a walk-in shower, which was a nice bonus, and the room felt properly maintained throughout the stay.

Pools and facilities

There is one large main pool with a kids pool next to it, plus a smaller pool around the side of the hotel.

The main pool was lively during the day, with water aerobics, water polo, kids’ activities, and entertainment on the small stage. Great if you have children, less relaxing if you want peace and quiet.

The smaller pool was close to the stairs near the top of the restaurant. It sat in a little suntrap and was much quieter, with fewer children around.

Both pools were clean, and the lifeguards were attentive. Towels were available for a small refundable deposit.

Food and drink

The restaurant was clean and mainly served buffet-style food. It felt and sounded more like a cafeteria, cheap and cheerful.

Breakfast included fresh fruit, bacon, eggs, yoghurt, pastries, and the usual hotel breakfast options.

Dinner usually had pasta, pizza, meat and fish dishes, salads, and a show cooking section. There were also themed nights, such as Mexican, Chinese, and Italian, with dishes linked to that country.

There was a dedicated kids section at child height, usually with pasta, spaghetti, meatballs, fish fingers, pizza, burgers, and similar options.

Sweet treats were always available, including ice cream, small cakes, puddings, and fresh fruit.

As a vegetarian, I did find the choice a bit limited at times. There was always something to eat, but over a longer stay it became a bit repetitive.

The worst part of the dining experience was not the food itself. It was the waste. Lots of plates piled high, a lot of food left untouched, and children wasting far too much. Not nice to see night after night.

Staff and service

The staff were friendly and helpful throughout the stay.

In the restaurant, the waiting staff were attentive, and we were always seated very quickly. Tables were cleared fast, and the service felt well organised.

Atmosphere

Because the hotel is part of PortAventura World, there were lots of families and young children around.

That is not a criticism in itself. It is clearly a family-friendly hotel. But it does mean the atmosphere is busy, lively, and not always relaxing.

If you want a quieter stay, the smaller pool is your friend.

I used a book as my escape from the noise, Private Dublin review.

Other facilities

There was a roof terrace, although we did not use it.

Some of the PortAventura World characters popped in from time to time.

There was also a small poolside café for quick bites, such as chips and hot dogs, plus soft and alcoholic drinks etc.

The Verdict

Ponient Dorada Palace is a good, clean, well-run hotel in a handy Salou location.

The accommodation, staff, pools, and location were all strong. For families visiting PortAventura, it makes a lot of sense.

For couples, it still works, but you need to accept that it is a busy family hotel. The main things that dragged the score down were the dining atmosphere, the food waste, and the limited vegetarian choice over a longer stay.

Scores

Accommodation: 8/10
Location: 8/10
Food and drink: 5/10
Staff: 8/10
Atmosphere: 5/10

Overall score: 6.5/10

A clean, friendly, well-located hotel that works best for families and PortAventura trips. Good stay overall, but not quite a peaceful one.

A Move to Spain!

We are actually considering a move to Spain, follow our journey here.

Private Dublin: Couldn’t Put It Down

I’m not a typical reader of books. In fact, I generally only read when I’m on holiday.

I actually forgot to pack a book this time, so I picked one up at the airport. Mainly because the cover art caught my eye. Luckily for me, it turned out to be Private Dublin by James Patterson and Adam Hamdy.

I’ve never read a book from the Private series before, nor anything else from these two authors, but this was an excellent story. What a page turner.

I couldn’t put it down. As someone who rarely finishes a book on holiday, I had this finished after a touch over a day by the pool. Page turner is an understatement.

Being number 20 in the series, I was worried I’d miss out on the back story of the characters. But they are painted in such a realistic way that I felt I knew them almost immediately.

Yeah a few plotholes and a little unrealistic action, but it is fiction after all!

The plot is fast paced and intense, and while this is part of a long-running series, it can easily be enjoyed as a standalone read.

I enjoyed it so much that, after Amazon wouldn’t deliver more of the series to our hotel here in Spain, I spent a few hours trying to find more in local bookstores. Alas, I didn’t find any.

Score: 9/10

Others in the Private series I have read and reviewed:

#1 Private
#2 Private London
#22 Private Dublin

Short Form Video for Business

Short-form video is having a moment. From TikTok to Instagram Reels, businesses are flocking to these platforms to connect with audiences in a new and exciting way. But what exactly is short-form video, and why is it so important for businesses?

What is Short-Form Video? 

Short-form video is essentially any video that is less than 60 seconds long. These videos typically appear as TikTok videos, Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts. They are usually highly engaging and shareable, making them perfect for capturing attention and building brand awareness.


Why is Short-Form Video Important for Businesses?

It not if you don't want to engage with your customers and market, but if you do want to engage with them, here's some benefits you see fairly quicky.

It's highly engaging. Short-form videos are designed to be watched quickly and easily. This makes them perfect for capturing the attention of busy consumers.

It's shareable. Short-form videos are often shared on social media and other platforms. This can help you reach a wider audience and build brand awareness.

It's cost-effective. Short-form videos are relatively inexpensive to produce. This makes them a great option for businesses of all sizes.

It's versatile. Short-form videos can be used for a variety of purposes, such as product demos, customer testimonials, and behind-the-scenes content.


How Can a Business Use Short-Form Video

Not sure how to use short-form video for your business, here are a few tips that might help you:

Start by identifying your target audience. Who are you trying to reach with your videos? Once you know your target audience, you can create content that is relevant to them.

Keep your videos short and sweet. Remember, you only have a few seconds to capture your audience's attention. Make sure your videos are concise and to the point.

Use high-quality visuals and audio. Your videos should be visually appealing and easy to hear.

Use a strong call to action. What do you want your viewers to do after watching your video? Make sure to include a clear call to action, such as visiting your website or following you on social media.

Promote your videos. Share your videos on social media and other platforms. You can also use paid advertising to reach a wider audience.


OK, I'm convinced that I need to use Short Form Video, but for what?

Product demos. Short-form videos are a great way to show off your products and services.

Customer testimonials. Use short-form videos to share positive customer feedback.

Behind-the-scenes content. Give your audience a glimpse into your company culture with behind-the-scenes videos.

Educational content. Use short-form videos to teach your audience about your products or services.

Interactive content. Encourage your audience to participate in your videos by asking questions or challenges.

Short-form video is a powerful tool that can help businesses of all sizes connect with their audiences. By following these simple tips, you will create engaging and effective short-form videos that will help you achieve your business goals.


Really Simple Keyword Research

Let's remember that Googles aim is to deliver to the user the most relevant results possible. So keyword research should focus around INTENT and TOPIC RELEVANCE to your business.


HEADLINE KEYWORDS

Single words or acronyms i.e. "Beer" - these are the worst type of keywords to optimise for (mainly because the intent is not clear, and typically usersresearch and more information), as intent is not clear, traffic will be poor and conversions will be low, but worst of all is that competition will be massively high and you'll need a ton of money and manpower to rank successfully for them.

BODY KEYWORDS 

Typically these are 2-3 word keywords i.e. "Best Beer" - while the intent of the searcher is a little clearer, it's still not 100% clear what they are trying to achieve with their search. These terms are often very competitive, because as keywords they are generally easier to find, this high competitiveness and therefore expensive in time and money to rank well for.

LONG TAIL KEYWORDS

4 or more words i.e. "Best Beer From The Supermarket" , these are the best type to optimise for as the intent of the searcher is much clearer. It will also be a much less competitive keyword.

It's important in the early stages of keyword research that 100% of keywords identified should be based on INTENT, yes search volume is important, but INTENT will ensure that anyone that finds your site WILL BE more likely to purchase. Your conversion rate will be higher, and will likely generate more good quality leads, plus competition will be lower, meaning ranking high for these keywords will be much easier.

PHASE 1 - EXISTING KEYWORDS

Use your existing searches and keyword data to give you inspiration for your keyword analysis, the easiest place to find these is in your Google Search Console, Google is already suggesting that you are ranking well for these keyworks, so it will be easier for you to take advantage of them.

Categorise these keywords into:

LOW HANGING FRUIT
- keywords that are currently ranking from positions 2 to 15. Remember to prioritise keywords that based on INTENT and RELVANCE to your business.

EXISTING KEYWORDS - these are ranking from position 16 to 50. Make these your second priority keywords to look at.

POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITIES - these are keywords that are ranking from position 51 to 100. These keywords are outside of the top 50, so would suggest that you are simply not putting enough effort into these pages. On these look at the long tail key phrases and consider writing a blog post around each phrase.

PHASE 2 - KEYWORD DISCOVERY

Use SEMRUSH to help you discover new keywords (you can create a free account).
Navigate to 'Keyword Magic Tool' to discover for free some new ideas for keywords.

  • Start looking at Keywords that are ranked at VERY EASY.
  • Create a list of possible new keywords for you to rank for.
  • Once you have a list of possible keywords, I sometimes like to search for these on Wikipedia and that can sometimes provide you with additional topics and keywords that are highly relevant to your site.  Use these new and related phrases in SEMRUSH to get more keywords.


PHASE 3 - ALSO ASKED

At the bottom of any Google search is a section that is often forgotten about called 'People Also Searched For', you can use some of these as your keywords, or try alsoasked.com to get a clearer picture and more potential keywords. 

Again, enter one of your best keywords into the search bar and it will provide you with a list of relevant phrases and questions that searches are looking for right now. These tend to make great topics for blog posts, and the chances are your competitors will not be using any of these terms.  Now while these won't bring you lots of traffic, they will make your site more relevant in the eyes of Google.


IMPORTANT:
When it comes to creating content one your website, remember to use only ONE PRIMARY KEYWORD.
Your Primary Keyword MUST address the intend of the searcher. To help decide what your primary keywords should be consider:

  • What are you currently ranking well for
  • Aim for keywords that have a search volume of at least 200 searches per month
  • Only choose a primary keyword with a low competition
  • Consider the intend of the searcher
  • Make it hyper relevant to your offering
  • Click potential - linked to intent, if someone searches for this primary keyword and finds your listing, how likely are they to click through to your site!



Is Your Business Known For Being Reliable and “Getting The Job Done”? – Then Beware!

It’s a myth in modern business that having a reputation for being “reliable” and being known for “getting the job done” makes you valuable and indispensable to your customers.

It’s all part of the fabric of business, but you need to be known for more than this because if your customer ever looks for more, they won’t come banging on your door.

Today, as a business you need to be known as someone that can improve and enhance the results of customers, you need to prove that you can solve their problems and move them forward.

If you fall at any of these fences, then your customers could cut you loose if they ever need a supplier that can go that extra mile for them, and because they see you as a capable business that does a great job, it could be a difficult decision for them, but it’s a decision that they WILL make if they need to.

The truth of the matter is that today you need to be known as a business that adds value – there is therefore an importance to define where and how you can add this value.

Most of this stems from having a real partnership with your customers and truly understanding them and the market(s) in which they operate; this will allow you to not only fully understand any problems that is given to you (so you can provide the very best solution), but you can also add value by spotting opportunities for your customers before they do.

Working in this way will lead you to become indispensable and ensure that your customers never want to lose you as a partner.

>>

This article was originally posted on LinkedIn in July 2017

New, unconfirmed Google ranking update ‘Fred’ shakes the SEO world!


"New, unconfirmed Google ranking update ‘Fred’ shakes the SEO world!"

I love this headline from searchengineland; we get this news a couple of time a year and it never fails to make me laugh!

It looks as if Google could have released yes another algorithm change that take a long hard look at the quality of a websites links before deciding whether that sites ranking needs to be improved or demoted.

But again it, this new ‘Fred’ update seems to have caught the SEO industry off-guard as is sending waves of panic across the community, but why this always makes me laugh is that if these SEO practitioners did their job right in the first place and looked to place good quality content on webpages with good quality (not spammy) links linking to the content then there wouldn’t be a problem.

The worry look on the faces of SEO professionals out there is a clear sign that they know that they have done something bad (black hat SEO) in the past and they are scared that their past is going to come along and bite them in their @rse.

I for one (as well as others like me), sit back and actually watch our ranking improving; I was struggling with one competitive term that seemed stuck as #8 suddenly yesterday leapt to #2, and I’m seeing positive moves across a range of sites and keywords.

I’m sitting pretty, I just wish all of my colleagues would learn and start doing their jobs properly!

Why is it so hard to rank well on Google?

I have recently been involved with a discussion about ranking on Google on LinkedIn, it has become more difficult to rank highly now, but why, these are my notes on it.

Any web marketer or somebody who owns a website realises (or should realise) the importance of high search engine rankings. Any webmaster who is serious about succeeding online should know that you need to be on the first page of Google results, but more importantly you need to be at positions 1, 2 or 3.

There was a time when achieving high search engine ranks was not really very difficult, all you had to do was create content, didn’t particularly need to be useful or of high quality, dump some keywords in it loads of times and *BANG* you were done and could with little effort rank highly.

Google changed a few its indicators around 2005, so with the same content you just had to throw some links in (predominately from link farms, article networks, blog networks and directories) and you ranked well.

From about 2007, things really started to get really difficult, and as every year marches forward Google just keep making the SEO role more and more difficult.

Today, there is a huge amount of competition out there in all markets. Achieving a page one rank in Google (and the rest of the search engines) has become extremely tough, unless of course you are working smart.

Working smart will often mean here the ability to choose the right set of tools – tools that can rocket your web visibility by taking your website from the lower ends of search engine results all the way to very top. See a previous post - Internet Business Promoter (IBP) Axandra Software Review.

A page one rank is all you need to rocket your web traffic that will blow your mind, however, traffic is just one side of the coin and if you want to convert traffic then you need to look at Conversion Rate Optimisation (CRO), but that’s a completely different subject.

Anyway, the real reason why it’s more difficult to rank on Google is that they want to present the very best results to us searchers, and their tweaks and modifications to their algorithm is all just designed to ensure that the sites that are well liked, with the best content rise to the top – it’s that simple really.